Three years ago on this night when I went to bed I had no idea what was in store for me the next morning. As I slept I received an email in my inbox that would change the rest of my life in a huge way.
When I turned 40 I set myself up a profile on an online dating site, kind of a birthday gift to myself I suppose. I have a dear friend who had been suggesting that I do so....she had been dating men she had met online for some years. I had been quite reluctant for some time but then she asked me to answer the following question as honestly as I could...
"So...where do you go to meet nice men..??"
I was stumped, couldn't answer, there was no answer. That very night I checked out a few online dating sites, chose one that was reputable, set up my profile, uploaded a photo and perused the profiles available to me. During the following 18 months I met and went out with a number of men, some I am still dear friends with today, others that didn't get past the first date. I had a series of short and a couple of longer term liaisons.
One night, during the wee small hours I was sent an email from a man named John, who said that he liked what I had written about my life and my family and wanted to know if I would be interested in communicating further. Immediately I wondered what someone was doing sending me email at 3am...what kind of oddball stayed up all night scouring the internet for dates..?? However, I had made a promise to myself to respond to every email I received, even if it was with a "thanks, but no thanks" so I replied. I checked out his profile and it seemed we shared a number of interests including food, coffee, wine, farmer's markets and left wing politics. He didn't have a photo up but was quite willing to send me one on request.
We exchanged emails over the next few days...he revealed that he didn't usually sit up all night trawling the internet for women but his (then 9yo) son had broken his collarbone that day at school and they had spent just about all night in the ER, waiting to be x-rayed etc. He was wired when he got home and thought he would spend an hour or so unwinding online. Hence, the email.
It became apparent that we needed to meet and soon...so the date was set, we had lunch and spent many hours that day talking and laughing...an excellent start.
Over the next couple of weeks we fell very much in love...yes, it was quick and unexpected but so, so sweet. I had very definite ideas of what I was looking for in a partner, not necessarily a shopping list as such but having had a few more years life experience I knew very much who "fit". Finding John was like coming home, very much the other part of me...he felt the same way.
That first email was three years ago tonight, in the wee hours of the 4th October, 2005. John and his family coming into mine and Matilda's life has been for the most part the easiest thing in the world. It became apparent very early on in our relationship that we would be together for a very long time so plans were made and we ended up here in Queensland.
I adore and respect him, I enjoy his companionship and shared discussion. I never, ever thought I would find someone to watch Insiders with on Sunday mornings but I have. He is generous and kind, thoughtful and funny. He treats me with greatest respect and love. We do not argue, we never have, there is no need. He doesn't sweat the small stuff and understands what's important in life. He cares for Matilda like he were her biological father. My heart still leaps when I see his name in my Inbox, just like it did three years ago tonight...he is warm and very snuggly, gives the best hugs, I love the way I "fit" under his chin when we hug and the way he smells, he always smells so good. I love his mind too, he is highly intelligent...I love bits of him other than his mind. I love going to sleep with him and the way he places his hand on my hip as we drift off. I love that he has entrusted me to care for his children, not a decision to be taken lightly. I love that our children care for and get along with each other, we are so very fortunate. I love that he loves me...I am a lucky woman indeed, my life has been very blessed.
Happy three years my love, they have been amazing.
With so much love...
Ch, Ch, Ch, Ch, Changes...
11 months ago