Waiting Anxiously...

t's 4.00am and I am wide awake. Since being in hospital my sleeping pattern is all over the place. I find myself awake at 3.00am and not being able to get back to sleep until about 6ish. It's easier to get up and do something quiet than toss and turn and wake John.

Easter was quiet for us...we didn't go away but instead chose to spend time at home on a few projects around here...renovating the kids bathroom for one. At Easter my thoughts always turn to camping and Mount Beauty (Victoria)...we used to camp with extended family & friends every Easter, the "gang" got bigger each year and "drinks" at 5.00pm around the fire were the best place on earth to be. It's God's Own Country up there and
the most relaxing holiday I ever have.

But I digress...or maybe not...

In the year before I moved to Queensland I let a much valued friendship slip through the cracks. I wasn't the only party at fault, there were events that transpired in both our lives that led me unable to offer the support my friend L. needed as her marriage fell to pieces around her. As time has passed it has become harder and harder to make contact.

The situation has been bothering me for three years now and over Easter I decided that it was time to try and "fix" it. I wrote to L. on the weekend...not an excuse but more an explanation of how things crumbled and an apology for my part in letting our friendship slide. I'm hoping that it can be somehow rescued...hopeful for forgiveness and reconciliation and a chance to rebuild.

L. and her family camped with us at Mount Beauty...they still camp there every year and have contact with my family. I was asked to be "Fairy" Godmother to her youngest son, a role I took on with the commitment necessary to fulfil it well. I feel so badly that I have just slipped out of their lives.

I wrote, then sat on it for a few hours. A little later I went back, edited, printed and posted it immediately. Had I let it lay around I would have found an excuse not to post it.

I'm waiting anxiously now, knowing that L. would have received it by yesterday, wondering what she made of it and how she will respond. I'm travelling to Victoria next month...my great wish is that L. will want me to visit, can find it in her heart to forgive and that we will be able to somehow put things right.

I have done my bit...the waiting is killing me. I am not, by nature, a very patient person.